Cops: Your rights don’t mean anything on the street, just in court. Where you pay for a lawyer.
Civil Unions: You can be an informant if you want, just exchange your currency token, and work for the cops. You don’t need a lawyer.
Judges: I like cartoons, it’s what my kid watches. You know, in college, I had a frat nickname. It was called hero. That’s how I got the girl.
Spies: Sometimes, a girl messes up, and that’s why she needs me, the spy. I don’t know what aliens you’re working for, but I don’t like it.
Air Force: You know, space is a dangerous place, but here, you’re nice and safe, in your little box.
Prisons: We know that comics make prison seem scary, but the Joker won’t get you in here. I’m just a myth, the modern American media.
Media: That guy was racist, and even though he doesn’t care, you should. Don’t buy from his company anymore, they hire the mentally ill.
Boycotts: The mentally ill can’t be enfranchised or consumed in public, they’re a sign of the historical deficits overseas. But we just call them fascists.
History Theory: This is all a lie, as our Founding Fathers taught you. Who knows what you did. Maybe you should visit the Lodge, and find out.
The Lodge: You have been arrested, for terrorist. Go back to stage one.
Monopoly Board Game: Welcome to America. Your President is a faggot.