Socrates, Dude. Naked pictures.
Jesus, Dude. Eight year olds.
Julius Caesar, Dude. Your wife.
Let me tell you, Dude, about the world’s three most famous pedophiles. Do you know why you get a brutal death? For committing legal pederasty.
What if you took a picture of the President naked, and showed a kid, so he could look at the same porn? Socrates.
What if you gave a bunch of parents psychotic breaks in front of their kids, so the kids never believed them again? Jesus.
What if you figured out how to seduce every woman in Rome by being Jewish, but not being limited by Hebrew. Caesar.
The father, the son, and the holy ghost.
Magicians. Real magicians.
Let’s go deeper.
Socrates: A politician mocks other politicians behind closed doors, because they all have the same sexual fetish. All you have to do, is figure out who your first president, abused, as a man, and take the most arousing thing about his woman, and tell a child that it’s ugly.
Sir Mixalot is a pedophile. He’s Socrates.
Jesus: An optical illusion with two bodies of water, one an ocean with a horizon, and a way to take a meniscus, a skydome, and a horizon, and line them up, around a growing child’s eyelid, so he figures out the illusion, with parents watching, who think the ocean is in the sky. A meniscus, a curve, and a dome. All invisible unless you have abstract logic.
Teller is a pedophile. He’s Jesus.
Julius Caesar: Take a wax tablet, print Latin on it, flip it upside down, into mud, then bake the mud in a kiln. Now you can read Latin backwards, and unbound any document of law ever, in such a way that everyone’s wife falls in love with you, while meanwhile, you ignore every testament of law known to man.
Barack Obama is a pedophile. He’s Julius Caesar.
The Holy Trinity, Dude. Classifier, example, scenario. A positive is a group, abstract, a negative is a singular, concrete, and a query is a situation, new.
That’s why I’m divorced. Because of rappers, magicians, and manga.