Fun with the Family (Games and Cards)

Charlie

One chess board, all black pawns replaced with black rooks (squad leads), all rear black rooks replaced with black bishops (sappers).  White king and white queen switched (Charlie’s sniper sights).  No penalty for losing king (lieutenant’s down), or check (cling to the belt) or checkmate (killing field) rules.  White team is United States Marine Corps, black team is Viet Cong.  Fifteen turns per round if family play, twenty turns if between men and women, twenty-five turns for gambling.  Each white piece taken, is one dollar.  Two rounds, per pair, with a switch.  No haggle (that’s for the CIA) on piece value, set number of pairs to avoid drinking (and fighting).  Each pair, the winning difference, first player or second player to play Charlie, is banked, until the game ends at the preset number of pairs, and the debt is tallied in terms of dollar bill value.

War

Classic game of antiquity.  The deck is split between two people, 26 per player, with one placed down at a time from each, high card taking to bottom of deck.  In the event of a tie, three cards are placed down, face down, and one card is placed down, face up.  Until a winner occurs, the chain continues, with the winner taking all (‘W-A-R. this means war’).  When the deck is completely in the hands of one player, the game is over.

A-Bomb

Bridge and Texas Hold ‘Em fusion, with standard Hold ‘Em rules, but two teams of two (two pools of chips between four players).  Two Jokers and Rules card, in the deck, all three wild.  If a Joker is in the hand, there’s the option of a show, if the Joker is flipped from the pocket, with any one player, including own team, potentially asked to show, to the other three players.  If a female player is present, she may use the Rules card, if it’s in the pocket, to flip everyone’s hand, including her other pocket card (the Enola Gay).

Pizzeria Uno

Uno variant.  To win a hand, one must have a card of each color except for green.  If someone has all green, and nobody else can register an all-green, they win the hand, no matter what.  Cards are removed once cashed in for an Uno score.  Once everyone has all-green, the game is over, and scores are tallied.  Not to be played in elderly homes, the old people get abused (Puff Daddy System).

Dealer’s Cribbage (Crib)

Standard cribbage board, however, instead of dice, cards are used, with each drawn card indicating movement forward.

Variant 1 (Teacher – Alice): Face cards are 11, 12, 13, 14.

Variant 2 (Coast Guard – Alan): Face cards are Jack -1, Queen -2, King – 3, Ace -4.

Variant 3 (Indochina – Timmy/Jimmy): Face cards are Jack -4, Queen -3, King -2, Ace -1

Variant 4 (Chemist – Francis): Face cards are Jack -5, Queen -4, King -3, Ace -2.

Variant 5 (Author Hitman – Dave): Wrong color card of track switches (roulette), blocks until past color resumes. (Steal a horse).  Face cards are Coast Guard rules.

Cheat Bridge (Editor’s Custom Bridge Game):

A game of bridge designed after Lex Luthor’s rules, Penguin’s strategy, and Great White Shark’s dynamics.  An Alexandrian Lutheran set of rules, with an Adam Smith strategy, and Thorstein Veblen dynamics.

Rules:

52 cards, Bicycle deck or equivalent, mandatory, no Jokers, Wildcards, Rules, or Deuces Wild.

Four players, two teams, seated across from each other.

Every round, there is a draw of cards, one per player, two per side, or a play.

Play is taking a card out of each hand, with matching suit, and placing it to the right, in a pair.

If there are three cards taken out of a numeral or face, a trip can be played, bounty.

The bounty doesn’t need to match suit, and the bounty is played, a bridge, three cards.

Signals are permitted, necessary of course, but not watching.

If cards watched under hand, unless bathroom break agreed upon beforehand, sacrifice.

Sacrifice is one draw for a single player, choose, then renege on turn.

Elderly get preferential bathroom breaks in a game, determined by family, at risk of family harm.

When deck is empty, remaining cards go to finger, they cannot be played.

Most pairs and bounties, counted up per card, between teams, wins.

The Napoleonic Chess Pair (Lateral Movement – Taxation and Mathematics Primer):

To win a game of chess, the ideal strategy is to move the enemy’s lateral, to force them to expose their queen while yours stays in reserve, beside your king.  There are two forms, the Jewish/Tong system, reliant on laws and rules, and the Chinese/Nietzschean system, reliant on theories and parameters.  The lateral, is the line across the board you force your enemy into, to deploy your hook, forcing the rival’s queen into your lines while you retain a reserve force.  This is a snare, as a hook, while the lateral will give you leverage.

Jewish: Each move the enemy makes, is responded to by a move on the opposite side of the board, save the king-queen corridor in the center, always matched by a move on the last side you made the move on.  This is a reflex strategy, to face an intimidating opponent.

Chinese: The king’s side is treated as the offensive ground, and the queen’s territory is treated as the defensive ground, with the king’s side moving forward save the king’s singular line, and the incoming charge, if present, to be countered at the narrowest line.  This is a psychological strategy, to face an unknown quantity.

Reactionary: On a defensive position, if losing, the proper movement is to wait until the enemy makes a move, then analyze, within that one set of two moves, what you did wrong, before resuming movement.  This is a singular movement, until play resumes in selected strategy.

Cum Laude: When facing a foe using either, the mistake to watch for is the enemy approaching the banned ground, upon which time a left wheel will be made, the Sherman (rifle infantry as Roman cavalry) strategy.  This strategy is only invoked, when violating the central corridor rule, as an equal trade, without taking undue advantage.

When using these strategies in rigid lock, and only these strategies allowed, one will learn the ideal taxation and mathematics system.

Mancala Teaching Strategy (Mirror Play on Mancala Application):

When teaching Mancala, one can get a player to mimic any Mancala player’s off-board persona strategy by teaching the student to observe the patterns and the weights of the board, ignoring the victory/defeat conditions or the other player’s strategy, or one’s own, until they master the internal gamesmanship of the rhythm of the game in terms of geometric depths.  Therefore, any individual using Mancala as an exclusionary strategy to gain information for a paradigm gathering operation (an ivory hunt) will identify you as a mirror, first as the excluded individual with the worthless duplicate strategy (the rhino), then as the witch (the poacher), next as a board steal (the spy on the groundsman chief), before the king will declare you as an enemy to his patron (the individual gathering the information on the paradigm, the ivory), thus defeating the entire purpose of a major criminal syndicate relying on African colonial exploitation culture by the patron realizing the entire operation was in vain (Heart of Darkness, the ivory hunters go mad and destroy the entire hunting ground).

You are Colonel Kurz.

Classical, Alternative, and Neo-Classical Campus Prole Induction (Secondary School Hazes):

The editor has identified three manners of efficient hazing, the British, the Jewish, and the Fusion, form of hazing, three cipher systems to induce clandestine adroit right radicals, individuals sympathetic to the cause of foreign policy engagement, opposition to socialist domestic policy, and of course, distaste for mainstream media sources. 

Classical:

A 007 villain is selected from a movie, by the spymaster, for an individual that plans to apply an Ian Fleming novel as the plot from the villain’s perspective.  The spymaster spends two semesters in an intentionally deadly game, until summation of the cipher induction, before sophomore year begins.  Then, the scenario runs as a reference to a past 007 film, with the plot as 007, with seven levels of grading. 

0/5: Dead. 

1/5: Direct application of plot, pedophile, reported.

2/5: Failure to complete objective against villain, apologies. 

3/5: Alliance with villain, marked as future alliance. 

4/5: Completion of plot against villain, with assistance, team mate. 

5/5: Completion of plot solo, trained, assignment given for job after graduation. 

6/5: Complete within first scene or setting.  He’s a fucking psychopath, a 00, you’ve done well.  Talk someone into stealing his work, it’ll imprint the entire haze game you played with him freshman year.  Qualification is the humiliation of a Freemason or group of Freemasons.

7/5: (007) Two spymasters trade novel and movie villain, with the nihilistic motive of the villain as the systems spectrum, the screen objective as the inversion of the intent of the strategem, and the conclusion as the reference to the end objective of the novel, with the movie as the imprint method and skillset for the set of skills as the derivative cipher to be placed into the 007’s tactic.  In the event of the 007’s reduction from official agency status to disabled agent, a movie steal must be set up for proof of life, the combined cipher if successful featured in a film or featurette, often Bond if an intelligence service steals the profiled agent (or if the steal is deliberate), to add the combined training quartet and the quintuple element, the situation, to the roster of potential academy moves to be studied inside or outside cloisters, plus the public classification for the world history of espionage of the ‘SPECTRE’, the ghost organization that struck down an agent.

Professor Gerald Friedman and the Secret to Dilemma Economics (One is the Loneliest Number):

How do you understand economics?  Do you think it’s a fancy mathematics equation, proving I’m gay?  Gay, sir, is sex with a man, not a vagina, and if you get any deeper, you can’t go to school for economics, you waste all your money.  Even for you women, studying economics, which means, you’re a waste of money, you do downsizing and closeouts.  That’s a higher paid position, that girl is the accountant that runs the stenographer’s pool to fire a sitcom character, any of them, first time you quote the show, and you always know it, honey.

So let’s take three concepts.  March, Maneuver, and Close.

What’s March?  I have a checkers board, and nobody to play with, until a guy wants to be in graduate school, or a girl, wants to go to cheese, a nice store where I can talk, without my job interfering, that means, I wear a professor’s suit, so I can get laid, but not with you, with the girl at the office pool watching.  What’s the office pool?  That’s a woman working at the store.  See, economics?  Now, I march the pieces up and down the board, red side, black if you want to leave the university, red if you’re staying, no pieces knocked out, unless you feel like it, black.  Stack in at your own expense, that’s how you dump your girl, at the office pool, when I’m bored, the words fit and ring, very nice, Parchesus, the actual factual inventor of the game.  Checkers, not Parchesi, Parchesi is a cheat, unless on ring numbers.  March, keeps you pioneering, stable, and thoughtful.  But it’s only for public.  The private stuff, is in the lab, the second game.

Maneuver.  A chess board, only.  Remove the white pieces, and just play, with black pieces, while pondering the news.  What news item?  Who, is your country, fighting.  Read about the foe, even if it’s a Nabisco shortage, and that’s someone your country is fighting, in the New Yorker, the print out of Amherst into New York City.  Just read the New Yorker, think things through, and play only black piece, and only by the rules, until you’re done.  That’s easy, then you write it down.  In the office, at home, on a note pad, with a black pen, a parchment book, not some silly journal or stiff, a real professor’s handbook.  Then, you put it all up, in class, to see if it works. The smart student, either walks out appeased, or talks to you in private.  If they have a psychotic break, especially with drugs, you broke a genius.  That means, you killed yourself, the plan being used by someone else, is wrong.  Tell them, somehow, how to get away, they’ve attracted an opponent, you.  There’s an extra queen’s piece, somewhere on the board.  That means, there’s a buyer and broker, it’s a collusion of power, not for America alone and simply the vested best, the name of macroeconomics, and to a degree, not an extent, microeconomics.

Close.  Once you’re done, with your strategy, every day at the end of class, meet your old professor friend, and switch to white, and just have him talk out your lecture or whatever about the issue, if it’s big, to you, chatting, while you move the pieces, for fun.  Not the psychotic break kid, that kid is gone forever, even if you think it.  Put him on a bus, it’s your career, or else you drop out of college, highschool, then being a toddler, and die.  That kid is poison, he had the psychotic break on purpose, and approached you, to betray someone who shouldn’t have been in your class, the kid just followed you.  He prepped you, to die, for an old enemy, somewhere else, maybe even at the same school.  Call the cops, the campus police alone, and report a dirty unit, called a mover, a highschool serial killer working for a TA at your university.  It’s a lie, but if you’re worth money, you’re using this strategy, and then you win.  You’re actually scudding a dead campus cop, that raped a girl you knew.  Happens to every economics professor, that’s where they’re from.  Both ways.

Published by cheater120

Consider me an expert in information munitions. I practice Zazen meditation, Yakuza Trappist form (a Yakuza, games cheat, and Trappist, a counter-agent), as a Bonafuda, a mercantile salesmen of information through philosophy, literature, fiction, and academics, distributed as munitions technique deployed for the purpose apparent to you, unless of course you have violated the ethics of my piece, in which case you will be trapped inside a theft of the piece and an action within the boundaries of the violation you have committed in Benedictine culture, the Jewish affiliate within Catholic culture. Buyer beware, and these poems, are free.

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